Thursday, May 15, 2008

Anything to make this go faster

Got the plane ticket yesterday. Two months and a day from right now I'll be at Goose's place, trying in vain to sleep in advance of the 5AM push to Hatteras. I've been doing this camping trip every year since 2004, and every year around this time I somehow work Frisco into every conversation I have with anyone--coworkers, bartenders, strangers on planes.

I'm not quite at the "only 148 hours and I'll be at the airport" phase yet, but already I'm trying to find ways to distract myself. There's this bullshit website called Household Hacker that purports to have ways of building nefarious shit with common items. I decided to try making the cellphone interceptor. See if on its surface this seems plausible to you:


It's all lies--I followed the instructions exactly, and this is what I got:

In other words:

Meanwhile, every shopping trip turns into an opportunity to track down cool gear. At Costco the other day this sweet baby was stacked up across from the deli meat:

It's virtually unsinkable! Don't get me wrong, last year's Fun Island was a great concept, but all us douchebags floating on that thing made it seem more like a lifeboat. I'll hang out next to y'all out of the line of fire in case someone pulls another Salz chumline special.

Jeff and Bruce have been putting their heads together for the roasting of Wilbur II. Bruce is bringing another half-scoop of river rocks, and Jeff's been sweating the acquisition of sufficient firewood. Sadly, last year's chainsaw is rusted to shit. Bruce was savvy enough to put up an ad on Craigslist. So far only one response, but it was a good one:

From: []
Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 8:18 AM
Subject: Firewood (Cape Hatteras, NC)

go to the "dump" in manteo, right beside the jail. they have logs, limbs, trees, whatever you need its there.(long ride back to the island tho!!) if you get there at the right time/day there are inmates out there working that will load your truck for you too! pallets can be gotten from times printing in manteo also. good luck. gonna be a LONG ride back to Hatteras from manteo with truckfuls of wood. LOTS of GAS $$

I think we'll be fine.

You may or may not remember Logjam lamenting that the mix he made for Frisco last year was trapped on an unplayable CD. What's more, the damn thing just disappeared, and Ryan swapped out his hard drive, so the mix was lost to the winds. As luck would have it Jeff stumbled upon the CD in a dry goods tupperware while looking for one of those colored-flame gadgets we used in last year's campfires. Jeff ripped the CD, sent me the tracks, and I direct your attention to the "Featured Mix" section of the site for a Logjam original, "The Bums Lost". Logger and I were both DJs at the same radio station for a while, and he put together a nicely paced, funny, and completely redneck experience. I highly recommend it. You can either listen via the "Featured Mix" button or download it in the "Mixes" section. The only downside is I don't have the cover art, but its description is solid--something about vomiting and a head wound.